POP CULTURE &
REVIEWS
[Teasers & Links
Below.
Newest content found at the Bottom of the
page].
This is a place where you'll find all my
(almost) Non-Wrestling content. I still make fun of everything
I can get my fat little hands on, sure, but for once, it's not
at the expense of dudes who roll around oily in their
underwear. (Not homosexuals).
Within these archives, you'll find everything I've
penned in the Entertainment medium, including my
2004 Pre-Episode 3 "Interview" with George Lucas, to a couple
of insanely in-depth clusterfuck reviews of two of my
childhood passions: Transformers The Movie and GI Joe The
Movie, respectively. And holy shit, in the latter,
SOMEONE ACTUALLY GETS SHOT FOR ONCE. The
American Tax Payers doling
out Billions so Duke can punch out a lot
of people, and never just, I don't know, unload a clip of
bullets into them, will be ecstatic! Plus, there's my
Bottom 10 cartoon/comic Adaptations ever, and a myriad of
blog-style posts on varying celebs and the news and scandals
they were and are involved in. This may have just been a back
drop to make a lot of jokes about Britney Spears giant bald
sarlaac of a vagina, and make a bunch of lewd references
as to whom I'd like to have the "Sexual Intercourse" with as
the kids are wont to say these days.
More to come in the coming weeks. Reviews, More Top 10
lists and more! That's what I meant by more, you see. And
that's what they call being redundant. Choose a teaser from
below to check out how I completely wasted an hour, with
over-scrutinizing things I will never be a part of. You won't
regret it*!
*Yes you will.
POP
CULTURE & REVIEWS
LINKAGE~!
PARODY: SEAN CARLESS's SITDOWN INTERVIEW WITH
GEORGE LUCAS. (10/17/04). In a TWF first, and
last, likely, I actually managed to track down famed
director/producer George Lucas and conducted the following
*Exclusive* interview at his sprawling Skywalker Ranch, to
hopefully get to the bottom of a few of my queries! But not
before he elevated me with the awesome power of the force
alone and spiritually lifted my wallet from my pants pocket.
Click
HERE to read the
full "Interview".
RETRO-REVIEW: G.I. JOE THE MOVIE! (03/04/05) They're America's
highly-trained special missions force. Just ignore the part
where they never make actual contact with their Enemies! Join
Sean Carless as he breaks out the nostalgia time machine for a
ridiculous look at 1987's cult classic feature film: G.I. Joe
The Movie! An Ancient race of talking Snake-men try and
conquer the earth by way of evil gardening! It makes sense, I
swear! Click HERE
to read.
PARODY: SURI CRUISE REVEALED~! (09/10/06) TWF *EXCLUSIVE* For months the world
didn't give a fuck, err, I mean wondered when and where the
alleged offspring of "TomKat" would be revealed to the world,
and just how long it would be before the child denounced all
forms of medication and debunked current psychiatric
practices. In any event, Vanity Fair finally published said
photos, proving that yes, Tom Cruise has indeed made love to a
woman, at least once. Or DID THEY? Join Sean Carless as
he blows the lid of this story, and provides alternative
"photographic" proof of the child in question! Click
HERE to read!
The Top 10 WORST Movie Adaptations
EVER! (10/19/06) Sean Carless takes
a look at the worst of the worst in films adapted from comic
books, video games, and cartoons with The Top 10 WORST Movie
Adaptations EVER! From super hero costumes adorned with
strange rubber nipples, to He-Man hobnobbing with Monica from
Friends, just which cinematic stinkbomb drove Sean to the
brink of insanity and ultimately came in at number one?
Click HERE to find out!
BRITNEY SPEARS' VAGINA MONOLOGUES. (01/11/07) A Cunt Miss Hit! Seriously, everyone
gets to make fun of her, why not me? Click
HERE for more!
PROPHYLACTIC RAPPER:
(01/14/07): 50 Cent Has debuted his *very own** line of
condoms (Seriously). Something tells me when it says
magnum on the box, it means LITERALLY. Count his
bullet holes and tell me I'm wrong. Click
HERE to read the full story.
THIS SPELLING IS ATROCIOUS: (01/16/07) Tori Spelling is pregnant~! I didn't
even know her species could reproduce! Click
HERE to read me make a lot of jokes at her expense!
TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONER. (01/19/07) My 4 favorite things are profiled.
That being two sets of glorious giant titties. Plus celebrity
Sex tapes, a myriad of strange ethnic children and holy shit,
this is the most ambiguous teaser ever. Click
HERE to read.
PAPA'S GOTTA BRAND NEW BAG: (01/20/07) Random Celeb
insulting plus a touching tribute to the Godfather of
Soul. GET ON UP! Ot just lie there.
Whichever. Too soon? Click HERE to Read.
PASSION OF THE CRUISE. (01/25/07) Apparently, when they're
not avoiding the Volcanic Isle of Hawaii like the
plague, Scientologists are considering TOM CRUISE the Jesus
Christ of their religion. And well, here's what I have to say about
that. Click HERE to read more.
SURFS UP, PANTS DOWN? AN EXPOSE INTO THE EXPOSED
GENITALIA OF SILVER SURFER?!
(01/26/07) Join Sean Carless as he goes where no man
would ever go, unless he's from the village: the "groinal region" of
Silver Surfer! Just what's up with Surfer's omnipresent
galactic scrotum being visible in the new Fantastic Four
Movie? Your guess is as good as ours, because Sean just makes
some stupid jokes. Hey, what'd you expect? Click
HERE to read!
SIX MORE WEEKS OF BULLSHIT. (02/02/07) A virtual cornucopia of stories and well,
bullshit. Posh Spice purges her own food to feed fat models!
Al Gore taps the face of Tom Jones to save the Earth! Tyra
Banks stands up for feminism by taking off her clothes and
parading around! And I crossover to the light-side briefly to steal
and old hermit's only outfit. Click
HERE to read!
RETRO REVIEW: TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE
(1986). (07/20/07) Sean Carless
presents a *brand new* Retro-Review of the *original*
TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE! The film that gave more small children
nightmares than any film I can remember. And that's just one
reason to love it!. Ahem. Click
HERE
to read!
THE SCARIEST PICTURE YOU'LL SEE
TODAY. (09/28/07) Something tells
me there might be a few needles and tourniquets in that trunk
o' hilarity. Click HERE to read.
GAME REVIEW: SMACKDOWN VS. RAW
2008~! (11/21/07) Sean Carless
returns with a full review for THQ's SMACKDOWN VS. RAW 2008!
Now featuring CLASSIC ECW. Tables! Fire! Fans with weapons!
The terrible awkward dancing of Kelly Kelly! Ok, maybe just
the first parts. All in all, THQ delivered a pretty solid
little game for us Rasslin' nuts! Well, so long as you play
the matches on mute. Dear God. It ain't ballet, you know! All
this, plus Screenshots, and random Carless-esque buffoonery!
Click HERE
to read!
OCEANS OF HURT: THE PLIGHT OF AQUAMAN: THE
WORLD'S MOST UNRELIABLE SUPER-HERO.
(01/05/08) Originally written in early 2003, before everyone
and their brother jumped on the Anti-Aquaman bandwagon, Sean
Carless took a look at perhaps the world's most unreliable
Super-Hero: Aquaman! Crime by Sea? Aquaman is the right man
for the job. Umm, everywhere else? Not so much. Click
HERE to read Sean's quick take on one of D.C.'s
most mocked and misunderstood superheroes~!
GETTING TO KNOW YOUR JOES: A Look At The
Upcoming Live-Action Film, And An Educational Introduction
Into A Phenomenon Greater Than You Or Anything You Could Ever
Accomplish. (03/27/08) There's a
live-action adaptation of G.I. JOE brewing, just
ignore the part where none of the soldiers in
question are old enough to legitimately join the
Military! Join me, Sean Carless, as I break down some of
the news and rumors of this film, and question why half these
Joe's would be better off fucking body surfing on the O.C,
(JOE.C.?). From there, I then take you back to
the 80's and break down some of the most forgettable/terrible
GI JOE figures ever! It's a huge clusterfuck of a crash
course in all things Joe! Click HERE to check it
out!
THIS JUST IN~!: GUESS WHO'S CAPTAIN
AMERICA? (05/15/08) With all the success
of the Iron Man movie at the Box Office, Studios are looking
to adapt fellow Avenger team-mate Captain America to the Big
Screen. You know who they have pegged to play the role? No?
Well, it'd be coooooler if ya did! Join me for a brief (and
stupid) look at the very latest on Caps adaptation to the big
screen! Click
HERE to read!
RETRO- REVIEW:
BLOODSPORT~! (07/08/08) Join me as I travel back to
1988 to look at Jean-Claude Van Damme's cinematic masterpiece:
BLOODSPORT! Academy Award nominee in the category of throwin'
wheel kicks in slow motion, baby! It's Frank Dux's real-life
story of competing in the Kumite! The only tournament where
after surviving death and grievous injury, one man earns a
sword and a plane ticket back to obscurity! Sweet deal.
Click HERE to read Sean's full insane
review!
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